It's something I've been searching for since really college. I haven't had a lot of experience. A lot of it's because I've enjoyed the single life. Let's face it, I've saved a lot of money, I've been stress-free (although work was stressful enough) and I pretty much got to do what I wanted.
I've also really been picky, though. A lot of it's because I always felt like I deserve the best and always looked up to family and friends and how they found perfection. I had so many great opportunities with what I thought were "good girls" but because I didn't find them perfect, I passed them up.
It's one of my biggest regrets in life.
When the calendar turned in November, I realized this. I realized that it was time for me to change my ways, to get my head screwed on straight and go for the future Mrs. TK. I decided to drop my standards and start being serious about finding the "right girl", not the "perfect girl".
And then mid-November hit and an event that may keep me from ever experiencing happiness.
I want to be happy. I want to have a family. I want to find the right girl now. I'm ready for that next step. Instead, I fear my life is falling apart. All falling apart based on one event during a school day that I wasn't even supposed to go to. And I'm afraid I will forever be haunted.
That being said, I do have a lot to offer a girl. I am someone with a good heart. I am someone with a goofy and funny personality and a good sense of humor. I am someone who can be social when they want to be. I am someone who can be fun, who loves to smile and who loves to be positive. I just hope one day I get to find someone who I can prove that to.
I am beginning to become scared with my life. Scared of being alone. I'm going through a stage of depression right now and I never thought I would go through it. I've lost a lot of friends and am not sure happiness will ever come around to me.
I hope it will.
I pray it will.
I pray that God gives me a second chance.
I pray that I can be happy like my brother and sister.
I pray.